I keep getting this mental image of the Mormon Hell just being this big cafe where everyone drinks coffee and soda for all eternity.

Bwhaha!  Well Mormon “hell” is called Outer Darkness and the only people who go to Outer Darkness, according to their theology, is those who reject the Holy Ghost. 

Aka: Ex-Mormons only

I’ll be enjoying coffee and booze with my fellow ex-Mo’s in Outer Darkness while Hitler enjoys the lowest level of heaven, if the Mormons are right.

(Spoiler Alert: They’re not!)